I have never been so full of ideas as I am now. I’m not sure what the catalyst has been but I suspect it is giving into my creative side, that writing down my thoughts allows new ones to emerge. I clearly remember telling several people that I am not an ideas man. That I am not creative. And that I do not have any original thought. Now I’m no longer sure that is true.
I have always had an idea for a children’s book and I even started writing it in my twenties. It was abandoned after four chapters and I still have it, although I haven’t returned to it. But suddenly, I have an idea for a new book for adults and it is developing every time I think of it. Then just now, an idea for a Pixar or Disney cartoon movie, that I can see exactly how it would go, what it would be about, and some of the humor in it.
And as for my cooking side, I can’t get enough. I can’t stop reading about it, looking at new recipe ideas, joining new cooking clubs, discussing it with friends and colleagues. I don’t have enough time to cook all the recipes I have waiting to try. These are the ideas that are keeping me up at night and that are waking me up in the morning.
It used to be that I never stopped thinking about work. I was consumed by it and it was more important to me than anything else in my life. I was definitely a “live to work” person. Now, it is no secret that I don’t much like my current job. It is amazing what a difference to your life a bad job can make and how motivation hits an all time low. However, the work is interesting enough and I try very hard to keep going and it does get better every day, I suppose.
Of course, anyone that knows me well might say that things started to change when Handsome and I started dating, because at some point, he became the most important thing in my world. To some extent, that is true. He is, without a doubt, everything to me and my reason for being, but I don’t believe that being in love and enjoying your job are mutually exclusive. God knows he enjoys his job enough! But this job is a means to an end and I love the company I work for. I am learning a lot in the role I’m in and I am very lucky to be able to live and work in the same country and city as Handsome. So don’t get me wrong. I am NOT complaining.
All this is a vehicle for me to explain that the other interesting gift given to me by this job is time, the brand new lifestyle choice of “working to live” and a never before desired interest in work life balance. And as my company loves to tell me, they want to be a Great Place to Work and they want to Build a Better Me. So I am happy to try to help…
Suddenly with space in my brain for topics that are not work related, I find that I have thoughts never before encountered. I dream of things in my future that are not related to the next promotion, or the next city/country/continent I will work in. Now everyone knows I was always interested in cooking and food… You can tell that just by looking at me! But who knew that I had a writer’s voice in me, or that I wanted that voice to be heard? And who knew that I had the drive in me to buy a website domain, design a website, start writing on it. Communicate to people that that is what I’m doing, and then talk openly and honestly about my life, my dreams and my fears, knowing that anyone can read it?
There is something very frightening about letting everyone know your deepest darkest fears and thoughts and creativity, because you become so vulnerable to other peoples’ opinions of you. I know this could be read by people who love me, people who hate me or people that don’t even know me. But the main thing is, that I’m writing this for the people I love. I want to share the things I love with the people I love. I want the people I love to know that I am a newly creative and inspired person. What could possibly be frightening or wrong about that?